Scribblings

I’m staring at this blank page for a long time now. Usually when I write something about the Devils it would either be after a hopeless display calling out for trust or in a very ugly situation crying out for some time. I could write passionately with broken heart when Keano quite or with a fatherly anger when Ronaldo blew it in Benefica last year. But this time around, am struggling to find words because ladies and gentlemen, Manchester United has finally arrived, all new and improved.

Loosing Rudd man has been the best thing to happen in a long time now. Now don’t get me wrong, I’m a huge fan of Nistlerooy and am so happy to see him do well with Real. Top of it, United would definitely struggle in the European front without him. But loosing him means that we can no more afford to play wide, and this somehow made the team look sleeker, more dynamic, fiercer and absolutely a joy to watch.

We have scored 30 goals in the league and another 10 in Europe. The red side of Manchester is leading the league from the champions by 3 points and needing just 1 point to qualify into the second round of champion’s league. All this being fancy, the thing that blows me over is that we have 10 different goal scorers. This pretty much sums it up all. This marks a new era, no more Becks and Giggsy running up the flanks feeding the center forwards with crisp and accurate crosses. No more do we have a hit man scoring goals every time within the six yard box. This team is creating a legacy of it own and no more trying to do the old trick better.

You might wonder why is it all big deal after just 3 months into the season, and I fully agree. United might and probably will suffer a slump sometime or the other. Players are going to loose form but and this is a big but the way they are playing with a purpose and fat free style simply scares me. Giggsy is no more running the left flanks, he is in the left one minute, right the next and playing middle to scare the hell of out of the apposition who are all already scared shit. With Ronaldo playing checkers all over the park. Then add the golden boy Rooney, sharp shooting Scholsy and Saha; we have a team who would win any other on any given day.

The game against Bolton, the one against Portsmouth and recently against Sheff united were all killer of games. This 3 months we have made mockery of few teams who before had brought their game to us and sometime been successful too. With all this said and done there are a few pit falls they need to watch. As Sir Alex keeps saying, the slump is inevitable but it’s how fast they recover and how long they have the good patches is all that matters. Manchester united has in the past have chased down teams after the new year, history shows how powerful they are; even last season United were potentially 4 points away from Chelsea from 18 at the start of the year.

This time around United are leading the pack and doing it in style. United played host to Chelsea this weekend. The match was very technical and incredibly intense. High profile matches like these would usually be very mundane and played very defensively. But this was all but defensive. Chelsea tried to take the game to United and to dictate the game pace but United showed their class. The first forty five minutes were dominated by United just giving away an odd long shot to Lampard and Makelele. Saha opened the scoring with an excellently executed shot just outside the box. Then Chelsea came back strong starting the second forty five minutes in style. They pushed deep and kept possession (which indeed what United should have done), Christiano missed a glorious chance to score unmarked inside the penalty box and then inevitable happened as Chelsea scored from an amazing Lampard cross (a thing or two to learn for Christiano). United woke up again and started playing aggressively but with injuries to both Ronaldo and Saha the match ended in a 1-1 draw.

United have been involved in a lot of intense rivalry over the years; to name a few Leads, Liverpool and Arsenal. I virtually hate them all but deep down never seized to respect them. Even though I can’t stand the likes of Thierry but I have never stopped admiring his beautiful game and I do feel sorry when they loose undeservingly. But it’s a different story here, I don’t like the way Chelsea play act, I don’t like the way they scrap for goals, I don’t like the way Jose accepts defeat; I don’t like the way they play Football. Football has got to do more with the heart than brain. I see all multi millionaires spending 90 minutes on a weekend doing enough just to earn the next million. With exception of Ruben, I don’t see the undying urge to entertain. So I feel a bit disappointed that ManU failed to trash the hell out of them. After the game Jose must have definitely felt relived.

This might be too early and the championship might be a long way to go. But right this very minute, the red devils are the undisputed best.


That’s that.

Sometimes when I wake up in the morning, I have this very strong feeling wash over me; that it’s been twenty five long years. Then comes the fear of facing another twenty five odd vacant years if god would be so kind to put a stop to this misery by then. You would start wondering, if I would go on about my tortures life filled with painful events. That’s not the point. I’ve had my heart breaks and I’ve had my happy moments as anybody. I’ve amazing parents, to whom I’m ever grateful. I’ve my friends, the ones who have left me and the ones who have stood by me for all my adult life. Life has kept me occupied with its unforgettable happiness and cruel sorrows. I’m a normal person with a normal life.

Then why this misery? Why do I feel so strong about things like these? Why? When I see a child, I feel pity. Thinking, poor thing you didn’t have a choice. That’s it, choice or the lack of it. Think about it, do you real have a choice? Everything in our life is about ones action to other’s reaction. We react; we don’t choose.

Then comes control, we have been brought up thinking we control our destiny. But not even your birth is in your control so where do I go from here. Since we are ruled by our emotions nothing is under our control. From the time I wake to the time go back to sleep, I’m controlled be an alarm clock to the fact that another alarm clock is going wake me up early the next day.

My best friend has a simple answer for this, God. In a way I see his point. When you stop analyzing things and place your unadulterated faith in something, you get back the magic. The illusion of choice and control. Life goes back to its brilliant form. Now hold your horses, I see another problem actually a very big problem.

I believe in God, whatever form he might be. I don’t question the validity of any mythological believes. But if I believe God is such a supreme being, I don’t understand why we would be important in his eyes. Why would he care, even if whole of humanity ends? In his eyes why should I be any different than an ant? Then I can’t shake this feeling, that this is our arrogance and stupidity, same as to think we are the end of these billion years of evolution, same as to think this whole planet is for our intent and purpose.

Now am back to square one, let me come to the point. Now that am here, lets forget why and focus on how. How do I have a happy life? Not skin deep but happy in my soul. I’ve searched this answer all my life, knowingly or unknowingly. Then I got it when I first fell in love. That’s right ladies and gentlemen. Love has given a meaning to my soul. To say I would end my life for it would be besides my point, I would live for it.

Now am in love again, I know the road is hard and twisty. But it gives me that meaning, that sense of belonging. It tells me that am no different. Above all it gives me that choice and that control. I know, choice is an illusion and control is a fairytale. But now I could live in that fairytale.

Pain makes us appreciate happiness better. It seams without the dark side life becomes monotonous. People dream of a beautiful world, the god’s own backyard where innocence is never lost; where anger never materializes, where tears never fall and pain never felt. We hail the return of the son of god; we wait in anticipation for the rebirth of a pure soul. We want them to eradicate the evil and reward the good. We want them to show us a better life, No pain. In all we embrace a perfect world.

In reality, our subconscious won’t take it. It would reject it with the same vigilance as it fights a disease. It would need the circle of life, a balanced equation. When we have Christ, we need an anti-Christ.

But world is moving towards a better life, one might argue of the moral corruption and AIDS and terrorism and Bush. Right all this has made a mockery of human values but in general our life has become better. Women have an equal say in most part of the world, death by unnatural causes has gone down considerably. The list goes on. Countries are moving forward, we no more have a single super power. We are entering a multi powered era. Our life style has become more comfortable; humans enjoy more and suffer less. Technology is more affordable. In all we have started to feel less and want more.

Deep down this worries everybody. Even when I want everybody happy, why would my soul reject it? Why do I appreciate a Mohammed Ali better than a Lenox Lewis., Maybe harder times test ones character. Hence we are awed by a broken champion who stood his ground than one who won everything and had everything. Maybe we don’t need a perfect world but a will to handle imperfection better.

Then I need pain to define myself, hardship to make me a better human. We know saints who gave up all. They go through a life of hardship, a life of devotion, a life of passion. Then I wonder, what gives them the purpose, the cause for such a selfless sacrifice, not just their life but also the lives around them. Since I know there can’t be a perfect world, heaven as you call it. I know, a better a pure life is not the force behind such an inhuman devotion. I wonder, is this really a devotion to a superior being asking for a life without pain. Then it hit me, it’s not the passion at all; it’s the fear. Fear which give men wings.

Its fear which motivates them, its fear that keeps them going on through their hardship. It’s the fear of going through all this all over again. Pain is a powerful motivator, since we are blessed with a sixth scene. We now no more just feel pain but understand it.